Zombies Invade New Jersey

Have you seen all the internet chatter lately about zombies and the coming zombie apocalypse?

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It started with several recent bizarre but TRUE news stories that bring Hannibal Lecter to mind. These events are really disturbing. But they did not take place in NJ so us Real Housewives did not have to worry too much about zombie proofing the house or zombie preparedness.

But then it happened.

A NJ man threw HIS OWN INTESTINES at the police and it was later reported that he had been acting zombie-like.

Fortunately, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has instructions for dealing with a zombie apocalypse. You can find zombie preparedness instructions on the CDC website, I kid you not!

“So what do you need to do before zombies…actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp.”

I did not realize that zombies fell under the jurisdiction of the CDC. This is a major government agency that normally worries about serious infectious diseases (like small pox, influenza, hepatitis, anthrax, stuff like that).

So although it’s disheartening to learn that we have zombies here in NJ, at least I know what to do to prepare.

But just to be clear:

“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post last week.

I am a scientist. So believe me when I tell you that just because an infectious agent has not yet been identified does not mean it does not exist. This is a fact.

So be careful out there, especially if you live here in NJ!

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15 Responses to “Zombies Invade New Jersey”

  1. cathy@1970kikiprojectJune 5, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    that is a strange story!!
    i am not into zombies…but i do love the real housewives shows!
    my favourite is rh of ny! i have not yet seen the new jersey series!

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 11:29 am #

      I have not seen RHNJ either but feel I should now that I technically am one!

  2. Fran@ Broken Cookies Don't CountJune 5, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    Gosh, Stacie!! We get enough bad press here in NJ…now we have zombies?!?! I know I have some weird neighbors and I think it’s possible the could be…zombies. I’m not kidding! ;-)

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

      Go out and buy a case of bottled water and some canned goods immediately!

  3. BizJune 5, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    So funny! And I may be the only woman on earth who has not watched one full episode of Real Housewives – in any city! :D

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

      I actually haven’t yet either! I’m afraid of getting sucked into that but I do think I need to see NJ. More fodder…

  4. Linda @ LemonsJune 5, 2012 at 5:43 pm #

    I never saw a zombie when I lived in NJ, although I did have times when I was in a zombie-like state, usually due to too much alcohol.

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 8:19 pm #

      I still have those states. I might have even more of them here in NJ than I did when I lived in CA…

  5. Lindsey @ Happy or HungryJune 5, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    haha, I heard about that press release just today on the radio. That’s crazy.
    Ya know what else is crazy? BATH SALTS. That is apparently what was behind the Miami cannibal craziness, and the intestines guy. WHY?! Why would you want to get high on bath salts? How is that even a good idea?
    Man. Peeps be crazy.

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

      Well something had to be behind it. But who was the genius who named the newest synthetic drug craze bath salts?

  6. ZoJune 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

    Ugh…I read that intestines story last week. In combination with everything else, it does make you wonder.
    On another note, I’d totally watch the real zombie housewives of nj…

    • StacieJune 5, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

      Zo, that’s brilliant! Go pitch that right now (and if you need a Real Housewife who is prepared for zombies, I’m there for you)!

  7. StephanieJuly 1, 2012 at 6:51 am #

    How did I not hear the intestine story? Seriously, the zombie apocalypse is coming. It will happen.

    • StacieJuly 1, 2012 at 10:58 am #

      It might be fun to do in clay :)

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