Room Service

by Stacie on January 22, 2013

The magic was all in the finishing touches. Every detail, so important.

Pushing the room service cart into the corner for the time being, he made the bed – but not perfectly, sat on it to create a depression and a few wrinkles to suggest someone had messed it up at some point after housekeeping rounds. He straightened the lamp shade, leaving it slightly askew but not enough to draw attention, and then clicked the lamp on. He drew back the heavy velvet drapes, but left the blackout drapes closed. He placed the book – 50 Shades of Grey - on the end table, and smiled. He really didn’t believe in the whole inner goddess thing. He knew better.

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Moving to the bathroom, he ran a bubble bath and then immediately drained the tub. An already damp bath towel hung over the rack, a nice touch that he had nothing to do with. He wet the toothbrush and placed it brush up inside a water glass, while leaving the rest of the toiletries in the bag.

Back in the main room, he cleared the room service dishes from the desk and loaded them on top of his cart. He drew aside the cloth covering the cart, and placed the empty wine bottle on the bottom level so that it was hidden. The nearly empty bottle from the room next door, he placed by the book, along with a glass which he filled partially with the remaining splash of wine. Finally, he wiped the crumbs from the desk and ran his white gloved finger over the still drying wood. Clean.

Satisfied, he pushed his cart out of the door and headed down the hallway to the elevator, his prize gagged and bound underneath, a safeguard for when the alcohol and roofies wore off.

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I’m playing over at the yeah write speakeasy again, the awesome place for poetry and fiction. We had to use the photo prompt and start with the sentence “The magic was all in the finishing touches.” Please come join the fun! 

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

My Half Assed Life January 22, 2013 at 7:11 pm

This was a fun post to read.

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Stacie January 22, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Thank you!

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Kristin January 22, 2013 at 8:24 pm

Love this detail:

An already wet bath towel hung over the rack, a nice touch that he had nothing to do with.

If I may suggest: Switching out DAMP for WET is expected, but it is more realistic. Wet makes me think mopping up a large spill…dripping water. Damp is more like used to dry off a body.

This is a scary story – and I will never drink from anything someone else hands me again. Gah.

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Stacie January 22, 2013 at 8:51 pm

Thanks Kristin!

You are so right – I changed it to damp ;)

I don’t know why I find it easier to go creepy. My wine is totally untainted!

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steph January 22, 2013 at 9:17 pm

This hit the mark – so to speak. Nice details. Creepy. But I like dark stories. I gravitate toward writing dark myself. Dark characters are more interesting, I think. What motivates them and how do they cover their tracks. Nice job.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:55 am

Good reasoning! Sounds better than saying I’m deeply disturbed…

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Jack January 23, 2013 at 2:45 am

I like the darker stories, they work for me and you did a great job with this one.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:55 am

Thanks Jack, I appreciate it!

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Stephanie January 23, 2013 at 4:10 am

Brilliant story!

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:55 am

Aw, thanks!

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Sandra Crook January 23, 2013 at 4:10 am

Good grief, that was a twist and a half! Well done.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:56 am

Thanks Sandra. I always wonder if I will pull it off – since I know what’s coming, I’m afraid it’s obvious.

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cathy@1970kikiproject January 23, 2013 at 6:37 am

very creepy! i was reading through, wondering what the phrase or detail was that must be included….my guess was “50 shades of grey!” nice work, stacie! do you compose more of the story in your head when you do these pieces, or just the paragraphs you share?? i am interested!

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:56 am

Thanks Cath. I don’t usually think beyond the short story. It makes me realize how hard it would be to write an entire novel!

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Ginny Marie January 23, 2013 at 8:51 am

This story was super creepy, and that last sentence surprised me! I wanted to keep reading….

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:57 am

Oooh thanks!

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Kristin January 23, 2013 at 9:27 am

Creepy is the word. AND, the meaning of the title “Room Service” totally morphed throughout the piece. Great job.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:57 am

Thanks so much Kristin!

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Georgina Merry January 23, 2013 at 9:58 am

How sinister! Truly chilling.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:57 am

I even gave myself nightmares ;)

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IASoupMama January 23, 2013 at 11:44 am

Remind me never to stay there… And great job!!

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 11:58 am

Don’t stay there!

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Samantha Brinn Merel January 23, 2013 at 1:20 pm

I love when you write creepy! I also adore that you added the Fifty Shades of Grey detail. Was the book hers, or is this one of those hotels that has been in the news lately that is replacing the in-room bible with a paperback copy of Fifty Shades?

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Or did he leave it there?

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Dawn Beronilla January 23, 2013 at 2:12 pm

Such an awesome job!!! It was creepy, interesting, easy to read…. perfect in my books. :-)

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Thanks Dawn, you made my day :)

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Azara January 23, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Love it! My favourite kind of story to read has a creepy turn like this. I find my own fiction tends to veer in this direction too, no matter how pleasantly it starts out.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Nice to have a companion in creepiness! Come join the speakeasy!

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Mary @ A Teachable Mom January 23, 2013 at 4:22 pm

So fun and creepy! What happens next?

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:53 pm

I don’t know! I don’t think I’d be good at writing anything graphically disturbing. Maybe she gets away?

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Roz@weightingfor50 January 23, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Love the story Stacie! Creepy!

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Thanks Roz!

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christina January 23, 2013 at 5:03 pm

um, wow, girl. haha wow. i’m absolutely intrigued and want more of this.

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Stacie January 23, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Thanks Christina, that’s a nice compliment!

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Suzanne January 23, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Creepy! And fantastically written – you kept me guessing about the nature of the evil he was up to right to the end. Love your use of the prompts!

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Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom January 23, 2013 at 10:07 pm

Wow Stacie – delightfully creepy! Great job! I could hear the scary movie music while I read it. ;)

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TalkIsPrimary January 24, 2013 at 10:09 am

Oh dear. Bad, bad man. ;-)

Loved the pacing. It just flowed and read true.

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Diane January 24, 2013 at 12:45 pm

Wow…that sent shivers up my spine. You are an excellent writer Stacie!

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Ameena January 27, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Love reading this…a bit of entertainment for my stressful Sunday morning :)

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