I am halfway through my first Whole30 cleanse and I haven’t killed anyone yet, which is remarkable given the extent of my sacrifice. I mean, who in their right mind would give up alcohol, sugar (real or artificial), dairy, grains, and legumes all at the same time for an entire month?
My yoga teacher thought doing a Whole30 cleanse during March would be good for our yoga practice and some of us didn’t really think this through very carefully before agreeing to join her. This yoga class is for beginners. We could improve our practice by stretching every day until our fingers touch our toes. BUT NO. Instead we eliminated everything good from our diet because all of these things have been shown have a negative effect, at least in some people, on health and wellness.
It’s ok though. Whole30 states that Whole30 is not hard. Whole30 says childbirth and beating cancer, both of which I’ve done, are hard. And they are. Not Whole30 though. Whole30 is easy. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, it’s relative. But still, unless you are currently birthing a child or undergoing treatment for cancer or [insert real-life hard thing here], eliminating all of these things IS hard (pssst: sugar and soy are in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g).
But that’s also ok. Because Whole30 claims to be life-changing. LIFE-CHANGING. Their tagline is even “let us change your life.” Well. Testimonials on the Whole30 website corroborate the life-changing nature of eating this way for a month. Headaches disappear, people sleep better and have more energy, aches and pains go away, skin clears, many people lose weight, etc etc.
I am halfway done and so far I feel…
no different. Unless you count my feelings of jealousy when my husband cracks open a nice bottle of pinot. To be fair, it might take the full 30 days to notice changes in the way I feel. Or maybe it’s just that I had healthy habits before, even if I included every single one of the “forbidden” things in my diet to some extent. Maybe what I’ll learn is that none of these things bother my body. Wouldn’t that be nice? But the real test happens after the one-month cleanse is over and I add these items back one at a time.
So onward I ride into the next 15 days, fueled by almond/cashew milk lattes which, as it turns out, aren’t so bad. I’m still hopeful that I’ll learn something about my body in the end.
Especially if it’s that there is no compelling reason to give up my wine.