Gilded Somnambulation

She walks
at night, warm,
embraced by gold leaf.

The gold leaf
reflects her light as she walks.
Like fire, wealth is warm.

She grew up warm,
in a tower, blanketed in gold leaf,
yet she’d rather leave a legacy of kindness, so away she walks.

She walks among the underprivileged, her soul warm, before suddenly waking with a laugh, knowing she’ll never turn over a new leaf.

_____

Note: This is a tritina. CynK noticed that I skipped one of the words in my last sentence (see comments). I had it in there originally because I always write the last sentence first. But then editing happened. We all make mistakes. It’s amazing to have a constructive feedback! I’ve since put it back.

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19 Responses to “Gilded Somnambulation”

  1. Cyn KDecember 27, 2017 at 9:24 am #

    Interesting contrast to the mood of your nonfiction tritina. “Warm” was such a comfort in that poem. It seems almost sinister here.
    One thing about the form- I don’t see warm in the last line.

    • StacieDecember 27, 2017 at 6:18 pm #

      Oh shoot, good catch! It was there and then something happened during my editing. What a rookie mistake. I’m going to fix it but I’ll put a note. Thank you!

    • StacieDecember 27, 2017 at 6:20 pm #

      I always write the last sentence first so it started out fine. Sigh.

  2. CheneyDecember 27, 2017 at 4:55 pm #

    This was sad in a gross, sad way – but really good because you made me feel gross and sad. This poor, POOR golden girl. Amazing job with the tritina. I never would have guessed you were using a particular form!

    • StacieDecember 27, 2017 at 6:39 pm #

      Thank you! I can never predict the direction a tritina will go for me. When you are given three words by someone else and rules to follow, anything can happen!

  3. ashaDecember 28, 2017 at 5:44 am #

    The twist was so good. I didn’t expect that, and I felt so terrible for her. Well done!

    • StacieDecember 28, 2017 at 5:06 pm #

      Thank you <3

  4. NateDecember 28, 2017 at 10:27 am #

    I like what you did with the meaning of “warm” as the poem progressed, how it transformed from personal security, to wealth, to greed.

    • StacieDecember 28, 2017 at 5:05 pm #

      Thank you. I was picturing Ivanka the entire time, haha.

  5. ChristineDecember 28, 2017 at 10:57 am #

    I like the way this poem builds – both in terms of meaning as well as visually. The way you shifted from “gold leaf” (having gotten us used to the phrase via repetition) to “new leaf” helped underscore the change at the end.

    • StacieDecember 28, 2017 at 5:03 pm #

      Thank you, Christine! Having never formally studied poetry, I don’t often know that what I’ve done feels purposeful so I love hearing these comments so I can become more conscious of things that work.

  6. MM SchreierDecember 28, 2017 at 11:38 am #

    I love how you used words we often think of as positive (like warmth) and gave different connotations to them.

    I don’t always know where I’m headed when I write, so I found it fascinating that you write the last line first.

    • StacieDecember 28, 2017 at 5:00 pm #

      Thank you! I occasionally have to re-write the last line but it helps me figure out how to order the words since usually the last line is the hardest for me.

  7. IASoupMamaDecember 28, 2017 at 5:44 pm #

    Okay, I’m still shaking my head thinking, “This is life in the USA now???” and this tritina sums it up perfectly — the garish gold leaf keeps reflecting classless crap.

  8. Michelle HDecember 28, 2017 at 7:43 pm #

    I just finished reading The Lady in Gold, so I couldn’t get the image of Gustav Klimt’s paintings out of my head when I read this. I had a totally different thought process than everyone else, so it was still tragic but in a different way.

  9. LisaDecember 28, 2017 at 8:58 pm #

    OOH, good twist at the end! <3

  10. MelonyDecember 28, 2017 at 9:49 pm #

    I imagine it’s hard to change, impossible even, after living a certain way for so long. That’s the way I see this from being born rich to realizing your wealth and greed are inherent to your nature now. It’s all very sad. 🙁 Beautiful work!

  11. Sanch @ Sanch WritesDecember 29, 2017 at 4:16 am #

    I love your tritina. I loved the different uses of the word ‘warm’ and the last line clinched the piece as it was a twist I didn’t expect.

  12. Michelle LongoDecember 29, 2017 at 10:32 am #

    I really like what you did here. I also like the note at the end 🙂 Well done. (not the note, the tritina. you know what I mean.)

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